The Labyrinth of London: The Lord of Chaos
by FarGreenCountrySwiftSunrise
Summary: The Lords of Chaos come to 221b Baker Street for a little game of poker. One-shot. Between "A Study in Glitter" and "The Blonde Babe".


The Labyrinth of London

A Sherlock/Labyrinth Crossover

The Lord of Chaos

Inspired By

"The Thin White Sleuth…"

By

Pika-la-Cynique

The Almighty Disclaimer

Oh Moffat and Gatiss,

Henson and Doyle,

To you belongs all the characters

And none so for me!

Summary: The Lords of Chaos come to 221b Baker Street for a little game of poker. One-shot. Between "A Study in Glitter" and "The Blonde Babe".

A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth…" by Pika-la-Cynique of Girls Next Door fame.

&%&%&%

"Why couldn't someone have just died?" Mrs. Hudson said as she set out some crisps and pretzels.

"Believe me, Mrs. Hudson, the thought has crossed my mind as well," Jareth shouted from his room. He was currently deciding between two pairs of socks to wear.

"Oh, just because two gods of chaos, a trickster fairy, and the Goblin King are coming for poker does not mean that the world is going to end," Sarah said sarcastically as she pulled out a pan of baked eggplant from the oven.

"They are almost as bad as the goblins," Mrs. Hudson said. She moved into the kitchen and gave a heavy sigh. "Are you sure you can deal with them? I take my evening soother early on these nights."

"I will be fine, Mrs. Hudson. Thank you for your concern," Sarah said.

"Jareth hates those," Mrs. Hudson said, pointing to the eggplant.

"I know. The Goblin King informed me," Sarah said.

"Oh, that girl is going to get it from Jareth if she doesn't behave," Mrs. Hudson said, shaking her head.

Seeing as she's queen and he's not, I really doubt that.

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it, Mrs. Hudson," Sarah said. Why would a lord of chaos use a door? Wouldn't they just poof in like Jareth did?

On the doorstep was a man with pale hair and pointed ears. How he was able to run around/poof around London in a Renaissance fair costume without attracting too much attention was beyond Sarah's understanding. He made a grand bow. "Puck, at your service."

"Sarah, not at your service," Sarah said.

Puck grinned. "Wise girl," Puck said. He shouted the next part as he half floated up the stairs. "I like her Jareth! She's as annoying as you are."

"I'll be out in a minute," Jareth said.

Sarah turned to close the door when she heard a voice say from behind her say, "Socks or vest?"

Turning quickly, Sarah attempted to punch whoever had sneaked up behind her. The dark haired man in an elegant suit and coat jumped back fast enough to avoid Sarah's right hook. He tapped his decorative cane a few times against the floor.

"Quick response. Interesting," the man said, "Loki, THE god of mischief, not that blasted fairy who is coming as well."

"At least I don't have to go to a horse to get laid," a man said, floating by the stairs. He was brunette with blonde highlights, wearing jeans, a t-shirt with the logo "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas", and his always distinctive flying footwear.

"I have never been depicted wearing a diaper," Loki said.

"I have a planet named after me," Hermes said.

"EGGPLANT! BY DANTE'S NINTH CIRCLE!" Jareth said.

"A rather odd fellow. I might have scared him at one point or another in a dark wood," Loki said, smirking a little.

Sarah raised an eyebrow and motioned to the staircase. "If you would be so kind as to go ahead."

"Afraid that I may stick a worm down your shirt, Lady Sarah?" Loki asked.

"No, I am certain you are more sophisticated than that. No, I just want a shield against Jareth when he confronts me about the eggplant."

"Fair enough," Loki said.

&%&%&%

"Where is that blasted woman?" Hermes said, idly messing with his bracelet which had the caduceus symbol as a charm.

"She will be here," Jareth said, "She would not have ordered my death by eggplant unless she could watch it herself."

*poof* Glitter was everywhere and the Goblin King was lounging in a chair. Goblins were scattered about the room, quickly making a mess of things.

"You just got glitter in my ambrosia, Goblin King," Hermes said.

"Thank the gods that are here, the glitter got into the eggplant," Jareth said.

Rossetti took one look at the pan before springing into action.

The Goblin King grabbed the glass pan and began throwing the thin slices at Jareth's head. Jareth dove behind his chair and began throwing the vegetable back at the Goblin King. Hermes, Loki, and Puck began throwing the rest of the snacks at each other. The goblins decided it would be a grand idea to eat any of the food that fell their direction. Sarah tipped the folding table over and used it as a defense as she slowly gathered resources to launch an attack on the lords of chaos.

This went on for two minutes and thirty-seven seconds (according to Jareth's calculations) when Mrs. Hudson walked into the apartment.

"What are the lot of you doing to my flat?" Mrs. Hudson said.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, even the goblins in mid-bite. Mrs. Hudson crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

"I am quite ashamed of all of you. Some of you are how many thousands of years old?"

Hermes and Loki almost looked ashamed. Almost.

"Jareth, did you start this?" Mrs. Hudson asked.

"I did not! Sarah made this eggplant of evil and Her Majesty came in and…"

"That's enough," Mrs. Hudson said firmly, "You are all going to clean this up, right now, with no magic."

There were groans of protest.

"With no whining and no magic," Mrs. Hudson said, "You would think I was making the lot of you drink poison. Goblins, that means you too."

As the group went around on their hands and knees, Mrs. Hudson walked around and talked to the various guests, sometimes ruffling their hair and sometimes patting them on the back.

"How is Sigyn and the children?"

"How is Pan these days?"

"I so hope Mustardseed is not being too tiresome."

"I think I have some more eggplant in the fridge downstairs if Jareth keeps misbehaving."

After everything was cleaned, Mrs. Hudson bid everyone a fond farewell and she went downstairs to take her evening soothers. As the poker game began, Sarah asked Jareth, "What just happened?"

"You just saw the Lord of Chaos boss around two gods, a fairy, and the majority of the Goblin Kingdom," Jareth said.

This was the day known forever after as the day that Sarah Williams Decided Never to Mess with Mrs. Hudson.

&%&%&%

A/N: I wanted to write something a little lighter since "The Goblin Games" is being far-too goblin like and dealing with a mind as messed up as Moriarty's is a bit trying at times.

I do not plan on ever writing an actual poker game with these players. Even with Jareth working together with Sarah, they cannot even begin to keep track of all of the cheating that goes on in that game.

For those wondering for my inspiration on what the characters look like: Puck is from Gargoyles, Loki is from the Marvel movies, and Hermes is from the 1997 version of The Odyssey (which I loathe but that is what you get when you end up teaching the epic for two months and you end up with Hermes saying the same lines over and over again). There are several mythology jokes in there (including the fact that the Ninth Circle of Hell is for Treachery). Glitter to anyone who can guess some of the jokes.


End file.
